Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
we made out on top of his cat.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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