I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
