do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
