How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
