her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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