Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
