***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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