hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
