someone threw a dead crab at me
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
They have beer where we have blood.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
