he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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