Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
