chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
