I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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