Say something about gay babies.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
