people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
