So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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