i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
3pm strippers are depressing
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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