If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
