is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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