loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
