garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
