Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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