He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
