Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
