i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
