You can't motorboat a personality
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
