In the future we'll all be gay
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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