I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
