I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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