I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
