did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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