I smell stomach acid.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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