Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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