I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
