I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
