Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
