just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
This beer is not sobering me up at all
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
