i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Randomize
