Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
her facebook's as public as her vagina
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
