Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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