So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
