We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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