Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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