This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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