and next time when you feel me up, do it right
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Randomize
