Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
