Don't make out with my wife yet
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
