Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
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