yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
It's never too late to be topless.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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