i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
we're so committed to being not committed
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
