I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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